


And All I Got Was This Lousy Bed

by Lion_owl, Nebula5030



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Brief Alcohol Mention, Crack, Established Relationship, Fluff, Gen, Humour, M/M, Polyamory, Vee (Polyamory), We wrote this instead of sleeping, exaggerated meteor showers, our faves love Queen music, the impracticalities of roomless beds, this really isn't to be taken too seriously
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-10
Updated: 2019-10-10
Packaged: 2020-11-28 19:03:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20971505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lion_owl/pseuds/Lion_owl, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nebula5030/pseuds/Nebula5030
Summary: “When the website said ‘romantic beach view’... this wasn’t exactly what I had in mind.”





	And All I Got Was This Lousy Bed

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by... this photo, and a dollop of ridiculousness:
> 
>   


“When the website said ‘romantic beach view’... this wasn’t exactly what I had in mind,” Lancelot said, staring at the, well… the beach. 

It had taken them an hour longer than expected to get here because Merlin, Gwaine, and Lancelot had arrived at the hotel car park, decided the building in front of them wasn’t nearly big enough to be the one they were looking for, driven away, and had gone around in circles while arguing over the map before ending up back where they started.

But sure enough, the receptionist inside had said they were in the right spot. “The restaurant is on the first floor, and your reservation is right through there,” they said, gesturing towards a door at the back of the foyer.

They simply hadn’t expected the sight that greeted them.

It was a beach, all right, complete with golden sand and an endless blue horizon… 

… and a king-sized bed sitting out in the middle of it, just barely on the outstretches of the sea, with nothing else nearby; no desk, shelves, or even a wardrobe.

And no walls.

Lancelot thought that they probably should have known that the rate they got was too good to be true. 

“Well this is… interesting,” Merlin said, looking over the bed once they had gotten closer.

Gwaine decided to take a more direct approach, and had already thrown himself onto it and into its excessive number of pillows.

“Let me see the listing,” Merlin started, holding out his hand for Lancelot’s phone. Lancelot pulled up the page and handed it over.

Merlin read the description. “‘A romantic beach view just for you and your honey/s,’” Merlin said, “‘Perfect for stargazing and all your getaways.’”

He then glanced to the bed, where Gwaine was already splayed out like a starfish. “Well...it doesn’t say anything about a _room–”_

“This mattress is very comfortable,” Gwaine spoke up.

“–and we already paid for it…” 

Lancelot coughed. “Merlin, you cannot be serious. Where will we put our stuff?” He gestured to their suitcases, which was _only just _sitting on dry sand, the lapping waves mere inches away. “These are not waterproof.”

Gwaine sat up. “We can take them back to the car,” he said. “They won’t get wet there.”

Lancelot continued, undeterred, “Also, I do believe the tide is due in.” 

“Oh, come on, Lancelot,” Gwaine protested, standing. He walked over to Lancelot and Merlin, and slung his arms around their shoulders. “Where’s your sense of adventure?”

“It is not that I lack a sense of adventure, Gwaine,” Lancelot responded. “Merely that this is just not practical.”

Gwaine shrugged, “Suit yourself. I’m going for a swim; I’ve been itching to dive in since we first stopped here.” He made quick work of discarding most of his clothing and dropping them onto the bed as he stepped into the waves. He looked over his shoulder, “Coming, Merlin, love?” 

Merlin offered Lancelot a look; apologetic, but layered with a question.

Lancelot sighed, but he smiled a bit anyway and nodded. “Might as well while we are here. Go on. I shall look and see if I can find somewhere else for us to stay.”

Merlin grinned, before he dumped his clothes on the bed and ran off after Gwaine, following him into the spray with a laugh.

Lancelot moved their suitcases a little further up the beach before he settled himself down on the bed and took out his phone again. It wouldn’t hurt to revisit this town’s hotel options. 

The search soon proved fruitless. As it turned out, everywhere else nearby was fully booked, with the nearest place with any availability an hour’s drive away. So for now they would have to make the best of it. He groaned, falling back onto the bed and rubbing his hands over his face.

Then he sighed and stared up at the sky. “It looks like we are staying here for the night.”

At least it was, he had to concede, a comfortable mattress.

His musings were interrupted by the weight of Merlin and Gwaine landing on the bed on either side of him, bouncing him, and his phone being jolted from his hand. He only just managed to catch it before it tumbled over the side.

“Find anywhere else?” Gwaine asked.

“No, everywhere nearby is booked. And that was nearly my phone in the water,” Lancelot said, attempting to glare at them. “So thank you both for that.” 

Merlin had the decency to look sheepish. “Also, we got water everywhere. Sorry, Lancelot.”

He wanted to continue to be annoyed with them, but they were both making puppy eyes and it wasn’t in Lancelot’s nature to hold a grudge. He let out a resigned sigh. “Well, given that it is the middle of the summer, at least it shouldn’t be too cold…”

Gwaine grinned, eyebrows raised. “Does that mean we’re staying?”

Lancelot let out an amused huff. “I suppose it does.”

Merlin and Gwaine both cheered, before hugging him.

“You two are both _soaking wet!” _

“Well, obviously. We have just been swimming in the sea.”

“Obviously.” 

“We’ll get cold if we stay like this, though,” Merlin pointed out. 

After a relatively brief discussion, the three of them agreed that it now would be a good time to get changed into fresh clothes and head down the pub for a nice warm bowl of soup. Luckily, they discovered that the small building that housed the hotel reception also contained showers and changing rooms (_the least they could offer, really_) and after dropping off their luggage back in the boot of their car, they set off down the promenade, holding hands, towards the Red Lion.

*

By the time they emerged from the pub, one bowl of soup and three pints of beer each later, the sun was setting into the ocean, turning the sky to a beautiful orange and casting long shadows along their path.

It was a tiny bit chilly by now, and they were a tiny bit sozzled as well, so as they walked they ended up leaning against each other, not as three figures but as an indiscrete huddle of arms and jackets.

Then Gwaine began to sing, _“Is this the real life?”_

Lancelot laughed. “Gwaine, no.”

_“Is this just fantasy?”_

Merlin shook his head, but he was smiling. “Gwaine–”

Gwaine only looked at him with a grin. _“Caught in a landslide,”_

Merlin huffed, but he joined in. _“No escape from reality! Open your eyes,”_

Lancelot sighed.

Then he began to sing too. _“Look up to the skies and see!”_

Until they were all singing in unison: “_I’m just a poor boy, I need no sympathy…_”

Somewhere along the way, their performance began to lose cohesion as they each forgot the words in different places, until Merlin decided to cover it up by segueing right into the middle of a different song: “_They'll see the heartache, they'll see our love break – yeah!_”

Lancelot got the gist: “_They'll hear me pleading, I'll say for God's sakes,_”

Then Gwaine: “_Over and over and over and over again!_”

_“Scandal, scandal, scandal, scandal,”_ they all chanted together. 

Just as Gwaine began to air guitar, the weather chose that particular moment to throw up a sudden gust of wind which nearly knocked all three of them off their feet, and set them all off laughing as they clung to each other for balance.

“_Yes, you're breaking my heart again!_” Gwaine continued, turning to face the direction the wind had come from, and gesturing to the ground where his air guitar had presumably fallen.

After that, the song petered out into gasping breaths in between giggles as they stumbled the rest of the rest of the way to the hotel car park.

By the time they got back to the car, their giddiness was subsiding, and they were all grinning. Gwaine fished the keys out of his pocket and unlocked it, before placing them on the roof, out of the way, and leaned into the car, one knee in the driver’s seat.

Lancelot lifted a suitcase out of the boot and set it on the concrete. 

“I don’t think I can be bothered going in there to change and coming back out again,” Merlin said after several moments of staring into space, in which they were all quiet. “You don’t mind if I just quickly get changed here, do you?”

“Of course not,” Lancelot smiled, “I might do that too. I might also get my clothes for the morning and fold them on the seat. This is a faff.”

“It’s a fun faff, though,” Merlin grinned, his face bright despite the tiredness in it, and Lancelot couldn’t resist the urge to step forward and kiss him, an eternity compressed into a single gentle moment.

Then they separated, and went back to sorting through clothes, until they had two neat piles: one of jeans and t-shirts for the next day, and the other of three sets of pyjamas; when Gwaine re-emerged and came to stand beside them. 

“I put my phone and wallet in the glove compartment,” he whispered. “Keep them dry.”

“That’s a good idea,” Lancelot said, looking around. The car park was completely deserted. He turned to Merlin. “Want me to put yours in too?” 

Merlin nodded, digging them from his pockets and handing them over, as Lancelot went around to the passenger seat and got in. Merlin and Gwaine both made quick work of getting changed into pyjamas and dumping their worn clothes into the clean binbag they’d brought along to act as a washing basket.

Soon enough, they were all changed, the car was all packed, and they began to make tracks back towards the bed… Merlin leaned over to kiss Gwaine, and then ended up laughing, treating him to two bewildered looks.

“You had the _garlic _and mushroom soup, didn’t you?” He remembered. 

“Oh,” Gwaine said when he cottoned on to what Merlin had actually realised. “We forgot to brush our teeth.”

Heaving a collective sigh, they went back to the car… 

*

Eventually, they were settled in bed.

Gwaine’s feet were hanging over the side waiting to dry (having elected to take a brief stroll in the shallow water before finally joining Merlin and Lancelot) and their low voices carried over the waves as they talked; even as Lancelot’s voice did diminuendo as he drifted off into sleep. 

But then–

“Whoa! Did you see that?”

Lancelot blearily opened his eyes and lifted his head. “See what?”

Merlin looked at him, smiling widely. “There was a shooting star!”

“Oh,” Lancelot started. He cast his gaze skyward. The sky had completely darkened since Lancelot had closed his eyes, and the stars were out in full splendour now. “I’m sorry, I missed–”

But just as he was saying that, a second one streaked across the sky.

Lancelot blinked. “–it.”

Gwaine let out an awed laugh, and he sat up, eyes searching the sky.

Merlin and Lancelot followed suit, both pushing themselves up and staring into the night. Two shooting stars were coincidence enough, but maybe–

Then there was another.

And another.

Merlin let out a delighted laugh. He let himself fall back on the bed. “That’s amazing.”

“Meteor shower, you think?” Gwaine asked.

“It must be,” Lancelot answered, voice laced with awe as even more meteors streaked across the sky. “I didn’t realise there was one this time of year.” 

Merlin let out another breathless, awed laugh, and he wrapped his arms around Gwaine and Lancelot’s shoulders and pulled them close to his side. Lancelot snaked an arm around Merlin’s waist, and he felt Gwaine do the same a moment later.

Several minutes passed in silence, with only the sound of the ocean waves lapping on the sand, and the three of them watching as star after star fell across the sky.

Lancelot found himself completely at peace.

Merlin turned to look at Gwaine. “I love you,” he said, before looking to Lancelot. “Both of you.”

Lancelot smiled, soft. “We love you too, Merlin,” he said, before pushing himself up and placing a gentle kiss to Merlin’s lips.

Merlin’s eyes were bright when Lancelot leaned back. Merlin turned his head to share a quick kiss with Gwaine as well before letting out a happy sigh and relaxing into their embrace, and his eyes fixed on the sky and the falling stars.

Gwaine and Lancelot met eyes over Merlin’s head, and they couldn’t help but smile at each other before they too relaxed, Gwaine’s head coming to a rest beside Merlin’s, and Lancelot’s head on Merlin’s shoulder as they watched the night sky above.

And as all three of them beheld the stars and the meteor shower until long into the night, Lancelot couldn’t help but smile to himself.

Maybe, just maybe, this bed wasn’t so impractical after all.


End file.
